Ever long for larger assets? This week we talk Missy Elliot and tell a love story of sorts between a girl and a pair of jeans.
Shake shake shake ya stuff ladies! Pop that, pop that, jiggle that fat, rapped Missy in 2003.
I sang along with her, 12 years old, trying my damnedest to accentuate the only part of my body that could be mistaken as curvy-my butt. The best way to flaunt my assets was by wearing a pair of skintight, super light wash, low-rise jeans from American Eagle. “You look like your vagina’s going to fall out!” my mom would yell, abhorred by my painfully distasteful clothing choice. But everyone was doing it. And I looked so bootylicious! My morning routine usually went something like this: Wake up, feel great ‘cause Mom did laundry and my booty poppin’ jeans are clean, Mom demands I change, yell, pout, scowl, we both yell, march angrily into the house to change, secretly shove the pants to the bottom of my backpack, scurry out of the car and run to the nearest bathroom to change before my anyone sees. It’s difficult to convey why those pants meant so much to me, or why I still feel similar about a few precious articles of clothing today. The simplest explanation would be that they made me feel confident about my body when so often I don’t. Pop culture and culture in general is fixated with the female figure, and always has been.
In the Renaissance they had relished the Birth of Venus, now we have Kim Kardashian-for better or worse. I’m a grown up lady now and like to think that a lot has changed-I no longer wear vagina bearing pants, only throw tantrums in private, and don’t take Missy Elliott's Pass That Dutch lyrics as life advice(as much). And if there’s a pair of vintage jeans, heeled boots, lace bralette or anything else that makes me want to flaunt what I’ve got, then I work it- unless my vagina starts to fall out. Love, Laura On any given day Laura can be found clogging around San Francisco city snapping photos or dancing to live music. Her go to bras are Uniform Wirefree, Bryant, and Alice.